Red Cross Shoes

Red Cross Shoes

      Phyliss wanted some Red Cross shoes and drove to Belks in Raleigh and bought them and then drove to the airport looking for Carl.

      His back was turned when she found him in the hangar.   He was looking for a screw on a work bench that had rolled away as he was attempting to install a radio he had bought for the Taylorcraft.

      The work of it had been making him crazy because craming everything into the small area available caused him contortions and he was clumsy with small things because he had large hands and small screws and wires were involved in small spaces.

      Phyliss could tell by the hunch of his back that he was angry about something and looked down at her new shoes before she said anything to him.

      She said, "Hey Carl, what are you doing?"

      He didn’t turn around but recognizing her voice, and having recognized her step, and having known she might show up, said, "I’m trying to put this fucking radio in the airplane."

       He then found the screw.

       He put the screw between his thumb and his forefinger and turned around and looked at her.

       Phyliss was wearing a brown side pleated skirt and riding sort of matching jacket with a little red trim on the collar and a cream colored silk blouse with a scarf tie and a hat with her legs in black silk ending on the ground in red shoes cut to point between her big toe and the one next to it.

      Carl could not help but look her up and down.

      "Is Harvey coming?"   He said.

       He knew from the look on her face and the way she was standing that Harvey was not the reason she was there, but that he was.

       "No, I came to see you."

       "What for?"   Carl said regretting that he was not entirely sure and ready for the answer because he could feel that there was some trouble involved.

      "Take me up with you."   She said.

       ‘Fuck it.’  Carl thought being seduced.

        The look of her leg moving to within the plane excited and pleased him and they taxied to takeoff with smiling anticipation.

                                                                     

          

Psychiatrists Love Insanity

                             Psychiatrists Love Insanity

 

Psychiatrists love insanity

And doctors love disease.

The firemen love the fire

And the sailors love the breeze.

 

I grab the phone to see you

And beg or just say please.

I'm a mercenary man

King of all he sees.

 

One day I'll be a hero.

One day I'll walk the dog.

One day I'll break the law

All then facts and forms and figures

Locked behind a door.

One day I'll love myself

and not love you anymore.

 

Psychiatrists love insanity

Doctors love disease.

Oh Jesus come round to see me

With the nympho nun Oh please, ed

Oh Jesus come round to see me

I know they can be fun.

It's the priest that loves the sinner

And the dark that loves the sun.

 

Psychiatrists love insanity

And doctors love disease.

The firemen love the fire

And the sailors love the breeze.

 

Oh Jesus come round to see me

And bring the nympho nun.

It will be our party

And I swear I will not run.

What Happened

What Happened Was

 

We were drunk and stoned and it was dark and we were driving around in a big car listening to the radio near Franklyn Pierce in Vermont and it was 10 and we were driving really slow because we were drunk and stoned and it was a nice night and we were all in love with the music.

Behind us, order | and now me driving I saw the cop car coming at normal speed and had two options, step on the gas, or pull over.

I had been driving this particular Rambler enough to know that the clutch pin would slip and the driver of the car coming at me would not have enough time to avoid us so I turned the car to the swale to let him by.

He went by and pulled over and I thought to myself, "Shit."

"Don't touch anything."

I pulled the car up just a little and made eyecontact with the State Trooper and yelled out the window,   "Have you seen a dead deer?"

He stopped in his hat and said,   "3 of them in the last mile and a half, Why?"

"Because we are looking for road kill to feed the cats."

My Suicide is Coming Soon

 

Soon to be Deleted/Angry Poem

 

20 years ago I fucked a woman who had a baby on my honeymoon at Disneyworld.

      Nine months later we had a baby named after a horror story writer's wifes one book.

      I was a writer that she and her parents intended as an empty suit to be an insurance salesman.

     I was what I said I was and they divorced me.

     I think the father of my ex-wife was a child abuser because his wife was overall evil.

     I was happy when he died.

     I then knew he was dead and could not therefore be around to abuse my daughter who has been successfully stolen from me.

     I'll be dead soon, viagra or in jail if I don't pay her mother.

     I highly reccommend the log books for whores.

     List every fuck and charge them all forever.

     Marry every honeymoon fool.

     Later tonight I intend to put the pistol to my head and pull the trigger.

     Well 05be I will get a shotgun at Wal Mart.

      A shotgun would be better for the blast.

      Good to lay down out by the river and feed ants and maggots and hatch flys and fungus.

       Daddy was in the PsyOps Corp.

       I think he was a pervert.

       Perverts are running the world these days.

       I am going to exit whether I like it or not.

      Really I need a vacation.

                                                               

      

    

Phyliss/Force of Nature

                                   Phyliss

     Phyliss arrived in time to catch Carl sitting in his hangar drinking a beer with his feet up on the desk he had put there in a corner.   She had the legitimate excuse of being there since she was again to pick up Harvey and take him back to Raleigh after his weekend crop dusting success.

       By now Phyliss knew that she was beautiful and that it did mean that sometimes she could get what she wanted for it.

       Phyliss wanted Carl and didn’t much give a damn whether she should or should not get what she wanted.

      When Carl saw her past the red wing of the plane back lit wearing a red dress against the blue sky mixed with reflections of red dirt and green grass the cream of her skin and the light in the red hair coffed and wild at the same time awed him and paralized him so much as to put a look of stupidity on his face that he found uncomfortable.

       He looked down at her feet and saw the shoes girls called fuck me pumps and pulled himself together and smiled and said,   "Nice to see you."

       Phyliss walked into the hangar and sat down on the landing gear wheel and got a pack of cigarettes and her lighter out of her blue and white purse and lighting a cigarette looked up as Carl took a beer out of a paper bag and took the top off with a church key and stood up and took it to her.

       She looked up at Carl as he gave her the beer bottle.

       "Harvey must be landing soon."   Carl said.

       Phyliss looked at her watch and as Carl receded back to his chair and desk pointing to a bench seat out of the back of a wreck he had salvaged and put in the hangar for a couch saying,  "When your butt gets sore from sitting on that tire you might try the couch."

         "I got my shopping done early and was bored and came out early.   Harvey won’t land for an hour and I’m hungry."    She blew out a puff of smoke and stood up under the wing and walked the three steps and stood infront of Carl looking down at him as he pulled out a drawer where there was a pistol and some sardines and some crackers.

       Carl got the tins out and put them on the desk and said,   "This is all I’ve got, you’re welcome to it."

        Phyliss took the sardines and crackers and sat down on the black car seat and putting the tins next to her thought about her dress and asked Carl if he had any napkins.

       Carl got some red rags and she put all the food on his desk and opened the sardine tin and the cracker tin and put sardines on the crackers and they ate them while they looked out on the field at the airplanes and got drunk waiting for Harvey 05be, but really flirting very seriously.

     

Yellow Light

Yellow Light

 

Weak yellow light in a shotgun apartment on East llth

I listened to Steely Dan.

"Soon everyone knew the thing was dead."

Drunk I understood all of the stories and cried.

The floor shined because of my tears and the light.

Of course abortions are failures.

Failures hurt.

A miscarrage is not the same as thinking about it.

Choices come around and grief is unavoidable.

In the dim light we cry alone for all broken connections.

In the dim yellow light we look at the floor and wonder what we did wrong.

Time Travel

 

                                    Time Travel

 

It is true as far as physics, pills

That time travel is possible, bronchi

But you never come back, look

and just go around creating parallel universes.

 

I once said, and sometimes still do,

All the women, temporary partnerships

virtual or actually married,

05 as well have been one.

 

Any life is traveling in time.

Physics and romance come to be the same things,

Not that possible to manipulate,

Or even needing more than understanding.

 

Categories of the Universe are

The Practical, and the Impractical.

– I tell my daughter that what is practical for her,

05 not be practical for anyone else.

I tell her she has a right to her secrets.

 

– We all do…

 

I told her that just because you think someone is your soulmate,

They 05 well not think or feel the same thing.

She is making a universe, traveling in time, and none of us can go back.

 The point is,

 Time travel is dangerous.

 

 

 

      

TV News

 

 

                                         TV NEWS

 

The whores made beans with bacon

In the motel.

We kept moving

      And watched the TV.

As long as it was free.

     Your soul calls you to walk.

Your soul calls you to fight in heaven.

      For your soul

      Look to your reflection in the dying eyes

      of your lover.

      Take up the passion and die in a spent heap

of hedonism and hopelessness.

       I will my body to science.

       I expect TV News to keep up with its dismemberment.

              

 

Carl Gets Caught

Carl Gets Caught

        Carl had been flying to little airports all over the State and up into Virginia either by himself or with Grover or Buddy or Paul.   The similarities between sea charts and airway maps had made it relatively easy enough for him to navagate, and he had read the manual closely and it had been done before that people had just gotten airplanes and learned how to fly them starting with the people who had built them.

        He had made a few mistakes and had some close calls and it had helped that he was a big man and some of the pilots mechanics or linemen that he had run into who sensed that he actually didn’t have a license had made some oblique suggestions at various places and times where he had shown up.

       Harvey the mechanic who had come over from Raleigh with a Stearman he had bought which was cheaper to park at the field half way between Oxford and Durham, that it was for him at RDU, where he worked for Eastern Airlines had done Carl a big favor by talking with him about carburetors so that when Carl had first been flying in early humid summer air and his engine had started rumbling oddly he remembered Harvey looking him in the eye with one eye arched up and a bead of focused critical eyeball asking Carl if he knew what would shut his engine down.

        That was after they had been talking for awhile early on the middle of that first 12.   Harvey was a small man of great intensity and absolute practical views.    He was 45 and his face was lined and brown and he was one of those people who actually appears and does have thick skin so much so that it carries over into their ablity to say anything they feel important to say for practical reasons and does not necessarily ever talk to anyone for fun.

       His job was to make sure that airplanes did not fall out of the sky because of anything he did, or had done, and he signed his name many times a day to forms and made or looked over log books at initials and signing his own and he was looked up to by the mechanics he worked with because he was a great mechanic and when he was mean about it it meant something because he had no problem saying,   "If I sign off and it falls out of the air, you’ll wish you were on it."

      During the War Harvey had been the Chief Mechanic on the Independence a Carrier that sent Mitchells B24s early on bombing Japan.   His pilots loved him because  the engines ran under his care till they were out of gas or you were shot up and that was about all the security they were going to get.

      Harvey had flown the Stearman in and parked it and tied it down and was looking around to see if his wife’s car was in the parking lot yet.

       It wasn’t.

       He watched a red Taylorcraft come straight in with no downleg and wobble over correcting for the crosswind that disappeared as soon as you came down past the treeline that took it away.   He noted that as hot as the pilot landed he needed every bit of the runway and then some.

       Harvey had watched many a take off and landing so he had a real good idea of what the pilot knew or did not know.

       Carl sat in the plane with his feet on the brakes for a minute and thought about doing a touch and go to see if he could do it better, but thought better of it.    It was the sort of thinking process that made him good at poker.

       Best to not push your luck.

       So he taxied to the tie down noting the short man in the tight leather jacket smoking a cigarette by the Fuel Shack where there was a picnic table and a preflight desk and the phone.

        When Carl walked toward the parking lot Harvey was still waiting for his wife to pick him up and take him home to Raleigh.   His plan was to turn the Stearman into a crop duster for tabacco farmers since if a plane wasn’t going to make him some money he had no real need for it and wouldn’t justify it.

       Carl nodded to Harvey as he walked towards the Ford he had driven out to the airport.   Buddy had bought it to sell and Carl had borrowed it from the station because the fuel pump on his Pontiac had gone out.   He didn’t like the Ford as well as he like the Pontiac but could see why some people did since it did have a strong engine.

        Harvey nodded back and dropped his cigarette and stepped on it and looked back up at Carl who was still walking and said,  "Crosswind was strong wasn’t it."

         Carl was not quick to stop since he was of two minds, one a little rattled from the struggle landing in the crosswind which had been more severe than the had prevously had to deal with and wondering what to do with himself for the night.

        Harvey saw his wife pull up in the Ford.   He looked over at her and Carl and said,   "I’m looking to do some crop dusting."

        Carl was standing between Harvey and the parking lot and the cars and the planes and on the grass and held out his hand and they shook hands.

         "I’m Carl Dunham."

         "Harvey Totel."

         Phyliss sat in the car and lit a cigarette and then got out of the car and walked toward Harvey and the tall man who were talking now about the weather.

         "Cold and the engine runs good but this time of the year when the weather is changing you can get blown around like in March or when the July thunderstorms are around."

         "You live nearby?"   Carl asked, looking over at the woman in heels and in a long coat her blonde hair pulled up like a movie stars picking her way and her stepts towards them in the gravel and on whatever solid ground pressed paths she could find and finally stopping when she came to Harvey and gave him a little kiss and said,  "Sorry I’m late."

        Havey said.    "This is my wife Phyliss."

       Phyliss was taller than Harvey.

       Phyliss shook Carl’s hand and said,   "Nice to meet you."

       Then she turned to Harvey and said,   "Where is there to eat around here.   I’m hungry."

        Carl said,   "What sort of food do you like?   Turners is a good steak place downtown."

        "A steak sounds good to me."   Harvey said.

         Carl was looking at Phyliss and thinking she was more sexy than she ought to be married to the man he was looking at.   He was intriqued and didn’t really have to be anywhere though and there was a waitress at Turners who he sometimes had flirted with.

        "I’m hungry myself."   Carl said,  "Do you want to follow me?"

         Harvey let Phyliss drive following Carl to the restaurant.

         "How was your flight?"   She said squinting a little to keep up with the car infront of her that she was following on the two lane country road.    One of the reasons Harvey had married her was that she was a good driver and beautiful and happily practical whereas he was not so happy but mostly practical and wanted her around because she was genetically happy.

        "I enjoyed watching that guy nearly crash."

        "You’re horrible."   She said.

        "I’d be horrible if I enjoyed watching crashes, watching an almost crash is alright."

       Phyliss laughed because she liked it when Harvey was drowl.

       When they pulled into the parking lot of Turners it was getting colder and the wind was blowing some and they hustled into the place without much conversation other than Carl saying,   "I hope you like it."

        It had a bar and a dining room of dark wood and booths and they sat in a booth and Carla came with menus and brought them beers and Harvey lit cigarette after cigarette and Phyliss drank a Gin and Tonic and a Scotch and water and Harvey drank beer and Carl drank beer and they talked about where they had been during the war.

        "So you got out of the Navy and bought that plane and you’ve never had a lesson."   Harvey said before he put his fork into a piece of the steak that was on his plate.

       "Yeah."    Carl said.

        "How long you had that plane?"

        "Since November."   Carl answered. 

        "You’re lucky to be alive."   Harvey said.

        "Everybody is lucky to be alive."   Carl said, and Phyliss laughed.

         "You’re going to do what you’re going to do, but I’ll tell you what you need to know about your engine if you like."   Harvey said.

         Later Harvey met Carl at the airport and told him that it was a good thing he had started flying when it was cold and pointed out to him the toggle that he needed to pull when in the summer the air was full of moisture and ice would need to be heated off the venturi tube in the carbuerator.

       Harvey also made Carl to promise to drain the water out of the tanks everytime he flew, and these little admonitions saved Carls life early on in his experiments.