Heading: Why the Coast Guard Works

        by-line Russell Scott Day

      Edward Hallet Carr wrote an excellent essay in Classic Readings in International Relations titled "A Critique of Realism" that I would suggest all politicians or law makers read.

       It explains why no one in the world is complaining about the US Coast Guard in relation to the events of Katrina.

       The US Coast Guard has a clear mission, and is trained and equipped for that mission.

       The mission of the US Coast Guard is to protect the borders, and rescue those in distress within their territory.

       I myself would be honored to be accepted into the US Coast Guard because they have an understandable mission at the very least, and it is in harmony with my political understanding of what are upright things to put your life into.

       Certainly I wish that borders were not so important, but I recognize that they are because of ideas that are in conflict and the fact that real enemies try very hard to kill me, my friends, or my children.

       Cannibalism as a codified and acceptable way of getting food for humans is a skew that makes humanity human that does not eat the bodies on the battlefield as if it was some sort of sport.

       Our cat Alastair is a rabbit killer who only lives with us because he likes to be petteted for bringing us rabbits he has just killed.   If we don’t eat them he eats them and I really ought to get a cleaver and get used to a minor amount of butchering.

       Typically so far I have thanked Alastair for bringing us his kills, but really he must kill about a rabbit a day.   I wonder where all these rabbits come from.   Nancy Alex tells me that originally when Alastair was a kitten he killed and ate so many slugs that the Vet had to tell her he had slug juice on his lips and wasn’t sick or rabid.

       It is a compliment I suppose to know that Alastair doesn’t really need us.

       He is one of the most beautiful cats I have ever known.

       I believe that he thinks about killing rabbits a good deal though.   Since Alastair is a pet and has a good supply of pet food I believe that he kills rabbits for sport on one degree and on the other degree I recognize that I like a good steak myself.

       On my next birthday if I get there I want a Buffalo Steak and I hope all my friends will have a Buffalo Steak Cookout with me on my next birthday, which it will be a miracle if I get to that ought to be celebrated.  -at least by me.

       It would be good for Transcendia if April Fools was more generally recognized as a holiday.

       The mission of a Cat for a farmer is to kill mice in the barn since mice shit an inordinate amount for their size and carry fleas that can give you the Plague or Heunta Virus, which are both endemic in New Mexico because of bats and mice and I have misspelled the name of the endemic virus and the Coast Guard ought to be in charge of Fema in my opinion.

       The Canadian Mounties and The Coast Guard are good organizations with clear missions and they are such a great group of nice people doing nice things that I would really like it if they liked my made up nation of Transcendia.

      Alastair is named after Alastair is named after some guy that wrote a book about Civilization.   Nancy Alex named all the cats, except for William James who ran away.   Oliver ran away too but she named Oliver.

        Oliver was named after Oliver Twist.

        Oliver had a long memory.

        Whereas Alastair is a rabbit killer I think Oliver kills mice.    Oliver left about 5 days after we moved here.

         I believe that there are some people that work in the Coast Guard that are like cats I know.

         A killer has to have a clear mission, and that mission is a tribal thing best, and it is harder to rescue people than kill them.

        The examples of the Coast Guard and the Mounties, their stories, may very well be examples that people all over the world can understand and support.   From what I know of this latest crisis in New Orleans the lesson that the United States ought to take from it is that the Coast Guard did what it was supposed to do and that was because it had a clear mission and it would behoove the US to vest more and more power with the Coast Guard, and hire the Canadian Royal Mounties as partner consultants.

       It is frankly insane that the Mexican Army has caravaned to cook for hungry American Refugees while everyday a refugee from Mexico dies in the desert fleeing from Mexico in hopes of better pay for shit jobs.

       Canada and the US and Mexico better get together and institute an economic set of trade laws that advance the interests of working people or the fat US corporate shills and corrupt pricks that pick the flesh off of the working classes will be left to big cats like Alastair that is a born killer.

         Well, there is Asteroid Katrina out there.

         Anyway, enough of what my pets do.

         If I had my way I would merge the US Coast Guard with The Royal Canadian Monties and unlease them on the world.

         They do a good job.