April Fools/Holiday Report

April Fools is the Transcendian National Holiday

      I have been enough of a fool to give it a holiday similar to the holiday they declared for the defeat at Gallipoli.

      It is the day years ago when a woman I loved left me for a guy we had a menage`a trois with.   It is the sort of thing that really makes you feel like a fool.

      By the time the evening of this day had rolled around I was sitting on the nighttime steps outside where they were crying in public uncontrollably.

      I think the next day I caught up to them in a Church Parking lot, punched him out and went home to cry somemore.

      After that I drank solid and hard for 6 months and drew pictures with crayons wearing this idiot stripped vertical robe that looked like something Jesus might have worn.   It was cut to that style anyway.

      Finally I worked up to making an assemblage titled Bicycle Disaster.

      I became less suicidal especially after I discovered in the course of working as a carpenter I did not want to die when I experienced great fear standing on a diving board 2 by 12 3 stories up putting roof rafters together at the end of the ridge.

      Fear is your friend sometimes and a little adventure may well be required for mental health for we all find ways to be foolish.

       Dealing with it properly is the sort of thing that makes one as much as an adult as I expect it is possible to be.

      A broken heart can really hurt and I never pick on anyone when they are suffering one.   I will make fun of myself, or go so far as to share that though I suffered a permanent loss that did destroy some innocent part of me, I had some fun later that I am glad I didn’t miss, and this reality has moderated my suicidal tendencies rooted in things like shame so much that I respect the unrepentent drunks I have known.

      Maybe I would have gotten along wth Bukosky.   (Forgive me if I misspelled his name.)

       I have to admit that I had an unusual evening for a Boy Scout from a town of 2,500 people in North Carolina with Liz of Live Shop Die that is worthy of the ethos, portraits he drew and philosophy and tone of acceptance and humor of the unrepentent explorers of nights in parks and dark drinking bars being animalistically free with happily suffering humanity on a world that is admitted to be as temporary as the happiness of some shared lovely uncaring and wide eyed interest in each other.

      It is love and war that makes memories and this is something we seek to make.

      Dancing is a wonderful art to see live because it creates in us a unique memory that crosses very directly to imprint ones soul and it is no surprise that I loved a dancer.

      So this is my Holiday.

      There has been at least one great party on it, and I always observe it and think about it, and by this evening I hope I have had a good cry and a good laugh and have given only the laughs away for sharing with my fellow adventurers in the caldron of souls and insects as Kafka and Dante described.




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