I wonder how bad things really are.  In the neighborhoods round here I don't see many people.  Driving around is expensive. I don't drive much at all anymore.  I think it is recommended now one buy an electric car that won't go far anyway.  Most of the time I want to stay home and guard the house.  Every time I leave for work I wonder if when I return it will have not been broken into.

I know that around the world the Drug War makes a difference.  Over and over I've said so.  Said over and over separating drug smugglers from weapons smugglers would make us all safer.

Damn I wish I had some more energy.  I'm tired.

Holiday seasons of the past creep into my memories.  I see in my minds eye a black and white photo of me in innocence on a tricycle in front of a Christmas Tree.  I have no other memory.

Sure enough I have memories of something like buttoning a shirt, herbal or being stuck between where I left, health and where I was headed.

Beverly gave me a potato before I left on the highway with my thumb out and 15 dollars.  Years ago I slept in ditches.

More have had to live as I have than those with degrees.  I just thought things would work out if I kept working.

Now it is still murky since it is a crime all around to do anything at all, and think anything at all.

Hope is a failure in itself.  I become a stranger to myself.  I look forward to a job as a professor teaching hopeless children how to become successful criminals.