Dictator Day is forced to form a secret mobile army. If you have been following the work of Transcendia you can see that I have developed in an organic fashion a process by which you can become a passport carrying Transcendian, therapy that is reasonably complex, discount and difficult. Here on this website I have control, medstore which is of course illusionary. My poetry has been critisized as being too ironic. It is irony for me to use the title Dictator Day. I even point to flaws in my own theories and thinking and in the end say you must believe in something that is a political construct, to make it work. Even now we see how much money is all about trust. And what is trust but belief which is your choice to exercise and is a thing you do.
You waste your life if you believe in the wrong concepts, wrong ideas.
So my own quandary is that I had control of my body and was strong pretty much up until three years ago. The arthritis struck fairly hard starting three years ago. Things inside my body, like two hip joints and my neck have worn out, and are wearing out real bad so that I have less and less control.
Before now I could self medicate. I could drink some beer and smoke some pot and pretty much enjoy my underground existence. But no, it has come to the point where I am nearer and nearer to paralysis. I am a beggar now. Few buy my work, my photographs or my book, or invest in my business plan, so I am finally reduced to begging and trying to stay out of jail and hoping to have money someday in the future to pay doctors and lawyers out of my own pocket.
I really did try over the past three years and all I did was make it worse. I didn't know shit about stenosis. I guess most people don't and seems like most people live through the operation but the surgeon says I'm high risk. This is one of those days when I have to piss all the time which comes from the enroaching advancing paralysis since the bones in my neck are only about half there.
Meantime, as they say, Back At The Ranch, out there people, are marching on Wall Street, which is a place. It is Goddamned sad and ironic that the target to take down by death lovers from Saudi Arabia, knocked down the World Trade Center Twin Towers and now the citizens of the US after ten years of the War on Terror feel compelled to attempt to take over Wall St. which apparently could give two shits about them. Sure doesn't feel like "We" are winning if this is what it's come to.
You can bet your ass that it is a historic moment when you see uniformed airline pilots marching in the streets.
I want them to accept me. Some have. Was sad when Jim Monahan got killed. He asked and paid for a Transcendian Passport. It was reverse rigged trim tabs, on a turbo Convair got him killed. And to top it of the Corporation fraud changed his employee status so to avoid culpability. He was one of my best and I can't do now what ought to be done.
So I'm wondering if I ought to do the all out Civil Disobedience and let you all watch me degenerate into a twitching screaming parody of a human being because the Pain Clinic reports to the DEA and won't give me any narcotics if they find any pot in my system. They want full control of me you know. They hate me for trying to enjoy life and avoid pain through my own self medication.
Next time I get to go to the doctor and beg for help when they want my piss, by then I can just say have my pants, wring them out.
There is more to it.
I think I'll try and show some solidarity with my people, who I follow, and twitch march and scream as I walk with my can around the house.
Told a friend of mine that while the pot doesn't do all that much for the pain, at least it puts a smile on my face.
Seeing those smart looking uniformed Captains marching on Wall Street in a picture on the web, on my computer put a smile on my face.
Hope somebody will come visit me. Hope my hands will still work well enough to scribble something down for them.
You know you can secretly get a passport put together and carry it with your other, to help you get out of tight spots. All the real spies carry more than one passport you know. This day and age we all have to be secret agents. It sort of sucks really, but that;s the way things are.