A cabbie’s story of lust, when there is no time for love.

The image is the cover of TWICE. A story of lust when there is no time for love. (c)

I Want to Tell You

I want to tell you what you need to know, but I don’t want to tell you exactly how I know. If you did what I did to find out you’d probably be dead. I came close to finding out and having it of no use since I would be dead and not be able to tell you anything about it.
So Rochdale was inspiring and it was a college and a nation as an experiment, and everybody blames Security. It was Security’s fault that the place failed because they were rude?
One of them said to me, “You’re pretty good for a word person.” There are a few compliments I’ve gotten in my life that have been worth remembering and and was one. The other I want to tell you now but it doesn’t apply now, would be out of order.
The order would be me standing there looking at Toronto for the first time. Then some scenes with the Chudleys that I spent too much time with. I believed them when they said come and stay with us about the draft. A great deal of what happened in Canada happened because of the US citizens that went up there because of the War.
Bob the mail man from Alabama told me he was a conservative, no hippie at all and just didn’t like the draft. He said he just moved in while it was being built because he didn’t have anywhere else to go.
We were refugees, ex patriots, part of a brain drain some said and it was a common discussion about how to get “Landed Emigrant” status.
Some of us had to be criminals for the rest of our lives because I don’t think Carter even pardoned the Deserters. After awhile you just commit too many crimes anyway. it is no wonder the core group wouldn’t declare pot illegal and save the building!
The point of the place was to have separate laws from anywhere on the North American continent, and pot was legal. All the hallucenigenics were legal. All the opiates and narcotics were illegal.
The laws of Toronto actually gave us on Security an important power of domain since we were supposed to in all cases be consulted and go with the real Toronto Police to serve warrants for whatever there might be a legal issue about.
That was a big deal, and while often sort of fun and funny really was an important aspect of how we of Security could do a job of protecting and defending Rochdalians.
I wish I could have been there longer.
This guy came in late afternoon and beat a guy over the head with a pipe and stole 300 dollars worth of mescalyne.
That’s what set the end of my citizenship, stay, job there at Rochdale.

There was the time I met this tall hippie dressed girl in the laundromat. She bit my dick and ruined my sex life for a long time. Such strange dry skin she had. She was sexually incompetent. There are people like that. Somewhere somehow I knew better than to hurt my sex partners. jesus fucking Christ! Tom Wolf who writes about the place keeps saying he was celibate. Well around there it was a good idea if you wanted to keep your health and your dick actually attached to your body.
Canadian girls seemed al lot like Southern girls. You work and they get you to marry them and then they have babies and love the babies and fuck off if you say or do anything they or their fucking parents don’t like. Some of the hippie movement was supposed to be different about that with equality between the sexes but that hadn’t caught on with all the girls.
I had a another girl from Niagra Falls who I met at the door where I worked the nightime and Friday and Saturday night shifts when all the people would come into buy drugs for the party times there inside the building or where ever it was they would go to.
There was a place over in Yorkville called the Myna Bird I heard where they did live sex acts on stage. I was afraid to try that place. Some of the sophisticated people in the world go to places like that. That guy Bill Maher on TV is so proud of himself for being welcome at the Playboy mansion which I read is pretty ratty by now.
The girl from Niagra Falls was or gave me the name Kathy Guitar, and I told her when I got off and she waited or came back and we started doing it for awhile in my room in the AShram on in the Commune on the 15th floor. These places were keyed off from the hallways and you had to have a key to get into the whole commune, but I don’t think you needed a key to your apartment after that if you lived in a commune, of which there were about 3 or 4.
One was simply a criminal enterprise. Some guy sat there at the opening with a real WWII era burp gun.
When I met Lionel and he hired me he was Vice President and this for me was just the way it was.
I’d lived in Elon College NC, and Greensboro, NC and Chicago and around Detroit and I’d read a great deal already by then. Some people like tall Strawberry, or a fat guy and another some I’d all ready met in Bloomfield Hills where I had that scholarship to the summer school Adventure in Creativity. Turns out that school was run by Cranbrook which was Mitt Romney’s high school.
I’d started smoking pot with Steve Allen in Greensboro, NC when I was 15 first at Page there and then didn’t get to do LSD till I was in Chicago when I was 17 and 18, I think. I need to add it up. I’m embarrassed that I was held back because my birthday was so late in the year. It’s in the end of December.
But Kathy was pretty and a schemer type it looked and I had had sex with her a few times at least when I asked her if she was on the pill. Usually often then you could tell girls were on the pill because it gave their skin a bit of a mottling on their faces.
“No, I didn’t think you cared.” was what she said that ended that relationship.
The logic didn’t work for me. “didn’t think you cared.” What is was or what did that mean or signify? Safety first! In all things Safety First! I don’t know when I learned that as if someone has to teach you simple things like that, but anyway that is what she said and I can see the whole scene by the cheap prison type bed in the little room, bedroom space of the place where I paid to live.
Actually the interior design for the places was good. I had a window on Toronto from 15 stories up. People pay lots of money to get views like I had. That is what I miss of the place and that sort of life. I miss lots of things, and health and youth and good looks are worth missing.
Just having babies without some forethought and planning hasn’t been a happy thing except for one time, and she had a DSI,? something that amounts to an abortion but they don’t call it an abortion. We broke up about lots of things with that being one of the contributing factors. That was a real love affair though. That happened long later in my life and finished up my education as a person and a man, making me a real gentleman.
Well I am sorry some of what I know I had to live to learn.