I wonder how bad things really are.  In the neighborhoods round here I don't see many people.  Driving around is expensive. I don't drive much at all anymore.  I think it is recommended now one buy an electric car that won't go far anyway.  Most of the time I want to stay home and guard the house.  Every time I leave for work I wonder if when I return it will have not been broken into.

I know that around the world the Drug War makes a difference.  Over and over I've said so.  Said over and over separating drug smugglers from weapons smugglers would make us all safer.

Damn I wish I had some more energy.  I'm tired.

Holiday seasons of the past creep into my memories.  I see in my minds eye a black and white photo of me in innocence on a tricycle in front of a Christmas Tree.  I have no other memory.

Sure enough I have memories of something like buttoning a shirt, herbal or being stuck between where I left, health and where I was headed.

Beverly gave me a potato before I left on the highway with my thumb out and 15 dollars.  Years ago I slept in ditches.

More have had to live as I have than those with degrees.  I just thought things would work out if I kept working.

Now it is still murky since it is a crime all around to do anything at all, and think anything at all.

Hope is a failure in itself.  I become a stranger to myself.  I look forward to a job as a professor teaching hopeless children how to become successful criminals. 

It is only in my local life that I have any feelings of certainty about what is going on.  Still the world is filtering through.  A sort of caught in the Zoo feeling overtakes me now.  What I've got, prostate and what they want are so far disconnected from any reality of what I've got I am being further ground down.  If I was young again I'd be smart to go into crime as a first career. The strippers and whores may well have the right idea.  Course they often seem to be dual personalities as to make you wonder what hope of sanity there really is at all for anyone.  I feel good that as one of my first official acts, buy I declared April Fools Day, no rx the Transcendian Holiday.  Face it and embrace it that you are, have been, or will be if you are lucky, foolish.

Got involved in a discussion about existentialism which I felt hip to read when I was in High School, and was caused to remember things I liked about it, and things I didn't. The Transcendian Philosophy is still forming, though partly well codified enough to inspire progress in the right direction.  A direction right enough is all I am about, or expect as limited Utopia.  Look here at this little airport!

They liked me in Tel Aviv!  This is true.  It was at the height of  the Transcendian Message Rocket program that I got more international press.  Course actually it has been long that Transcendia has had consistent presence same as any small weak poor country that rents.  I study political science from both psychological and sociological basis ascribed to experiments done both ethically and unethically as what History is.  Somewhere out of the Strand is my copy of the Timelines of History wherein I wrote down when I was invented.  I hardly know arithmetic having to take long to ever get fractions to center.  I built a table yesterday that perfectly illustrates how I do things and end up always off center.  It has a lot to do with the materials I have to work with.

– They are imperfect.

Most of my best work is a bitch to frame.  This table I made yesterday was made from finally a curved cut piece of 3/4 inch birch plywood.  I'd started out wanting to make a little rectangular table to throw together with screws and little sawing, but the top I had in mind was warped.  For the leg cutting I had to mess with the straight fence on my cheap Delta chop saw and hurt my hand a couple of curse word worthy times trying to do precision mechanics with the wrong tools.  Course next time I'll make everything act right.  All the wood I used came out of the cabinet shop dumpster.  Sometimes too often the dumpster smells like Toulene, chemicals, not good for your kidneys.

The table I made yesterday would be fairly easy to break.  It might be a work of art.  To make anything work, you have to believe in it.  While I am a bit of a sceptic, I'm glad I went to church as often as I did.  A good sermon is a fun thing.  I can't well call my religion a separate theology but can call it a spiritual practice.  Working backwards I need to divorce it from dependence on books, and give it an oral tradition.  I volunteer myself to be interviewed…

What questions do I have for myself you might want to ask me?

First I went to The Family Doctor to find out what the lump behind my right knee was.  It was a Bakers Cyst which is a fluid leak for which little is normally to be done.  I got prescriptions for some of my ongoing problems, prostate and went to Wal Mart to fill them as recommended due to reduced costs.

Then my left leg really went to hell.  It swelled up, abortion and hurt real bad.  I waited till I had some money to go back.  When I went back thinking I might well have Fleabiteus, canada order they determined I might die and sent me to the Hospital for an ultrasound test to see if how close to dying I might be.

Turned out I had Cellulitis from Fleabitus, and needed antibiotics.

One drug I was already taking was recommended for both problems.

Did I mention the arthritis?

Anyway Family Doctor wouldn't authorize a refill of the arthritis medicine cause I came in without an appointment.

So the lesson turns to be if you don't see a Doc in the Box without an appointment you have problems getting prescriptions renewed.

Got a note from WL Literary Agency saying that they had made contacts in China.  Chollywood wants Screen Plays acceptable to the censored buyers intent on creating an internal market for Chinese films.  I did work on some Hong Kong Kung Fu movie titled We'll Take Manhattan that I would like to see.

The Agency did not sell my Jet Beach screen play, purchase and I spent with them at least 500 bucks for reading fees and what not.  I'd fired an agent for crack smoking.  The online agency was best I could get from where I was.  They want some more money for expenses.

I'm not giving them anymore money.

There is an idea for a movie in my mind archives that could transcend the propaganda Chinese producers of films have.

That idea for which I have written little is the story of the ignorant neophyte who becomes pet boy to the airport builders in an African jungle.  He goes on to become a spaceship pilot.  It is an inspiring story of success by happenstance and character and personality.

Machines will be very much characters in the movie.  The Band boy shall in the opening scene see the Bulldozer as if it was a living monster pushing the jungle into the shape of an airport.   From then on his life is transformed from ignorant savage to tech savvy pilot of any flying machine.

Stranger things have happened.

My failure as the chief political Founder and figure is that I have not given enough speeches.  So I have made a deal to pay for the filming of a speech to be posted to Youtube, ask at least, look with a box of art.  At this stage it is the equivalent of printing money that has intrinsic value similar to gold.  It has been more than once people have said I'll be appreciated after I am dead to the point faking my death was attractive as a marketing ploy.  Course I feel death coming soon enough so as not wanting to tempt fate, and mess around with it.  If only the doctors would give me a three week supply of valium.  I think they are afraid I'll become addicted to valium.

Oh to be good in all ones personal habits!  Bout all I can do is try and protect my integrity, and maintain or improve my Boy Scout character.  I one time told my daughter that she had a right to her secrets.  I think I went on to say that you cannot be who you really want to be without keeping a few things to yourself.

While this reality is true, and good advice it threatens cash in a world of constant universal war.  Paper money is such a common and used work of conceptual art not backed up by gold, that I think we take it for granted.  Due to the nature of a nation of airports for which security and defense must be greater than at any other ports, cash must be limited.  Passports must also be limited.

As it is not a born into nation, to be joined, for the core of initial citizens, vetting shall be required, and the available passport on the Transcendia wiki, shall not really be good without my signature, or that of Garth Hoyman, or my wife.  In other words some snail mail shall be required.

All righty then, I have just jumped into it, the issues I'm worried about, starting with money.  In aviation and movie making the joke is the same:  What does it take to make an airplane fly?   – The answer is money.   The answer to what's it take to make a movie, is also money.

Money for what?  Well, in general, my goal is to do as much good as Hitler did bad.  My specific way of working to maybe do that is to create a nation of airports and spaceports.  I am way cut back on my love of outerspace as a evacuation destination and am more for at this time near earth operations.  We do need a planet defense system.  Asteroid mining may not be as outlandish as it sounds, and if it enhances our, and I mean "our" defense capabilities to do such things, then I am for it.  People do more things for money, than about most anything else.  Anyway it sure seems that way.

The most dangerous people do all they do for some ideology or maybe more bad things for theology, though it would appear mixing the two as did Hitler, is a pretty powerful combination.  We can see ideologies and theology fearfully in conflict now in this time of general war on every block.  Don't think for a minute that the imprisonments theft and violence on every block and in every neighborhood is better because it is a Drug War, than a war over oil and ideology, and theology in Iraq, or Afghanistan.

For the US they say they are conducting two wars, when really it is three.  Don't face it!

Come on, Face it!  A nation cannot afford three front wars.

I really want to fund an impartial panel of doctors to find out the bottom line as far as how long from joint to joystick they would certify as safe for pilots.  In my judgement if it is to be legal, we need to know this sort of thing to help end the drug war.

The Drug War really ought to be an easy one to end when you consider the past few presidents of the United States, and their records, or confessions, or lies.  Many an inmate can say Obama, Clinton and Bush got away with it.  I'll never be president cause I got caught.

I got caught once with a little pot and a 38 Brazilian made revolver.   Yeah, I had the revolver in the glove compartment.  When the blue lights went off I didn't feel comfortable reaching for my gun.  Was when I was opening the glove compartment for some papers I told the cop there was a gun in there.  Leaving a gun around in plain sight in a car is not a great idea in my opinion.  However the law in NC is that you are supposed to.   It is the opposite in SC.

I'm not going to go on and on about guns.[p]

However I must go on and on about what a good thing it would be if we had an international nation of confederated airports.

I'm willing to make a fool of myself to raise the money to do such a thing.

It will be a big and expensive thing to do.

Help, I need Help! 

The economy of Transcendia will be dependent on fees, allergist starting with landing fees for the simple fact that a transient may never come back.

It was a shock to me that led to a few hours in jail that registration of your car, doctor or motorcycle costs like 450 dollars in Fort Lauderdale.  I forget exactly how things went down now after 15 years?  Think I sold the truck and only rode the motorcycle and crossed some railroad tracks before the thingy went up, which is legal for cops after the train passes, but illegal for the regular rider.

Had to have my boss bail me out before I was to be put in County for at least overnight.  Overall not fun at all.  It is good to have employers that will come to get you out of jail.  It is a tough man that has no fear of jail for ideological reasons.  Genet is supposedly an existentialist writer.  It is interesting that he was pardoned by the French government.  I have legal issues in New York State I need to put to rest, and for which I need rescue.

I am a strong supporter of Andre` Lewin's Points for Reinvention of the UN.  Who knows, maybe France will bail me out.  My US passport is expired, but I can't get it renewed until this 9 grand ex wife problem is paid off.  I sort of like the UK law about how if a guy marries a woman with children, the first husband is released from payments to the wife or children.   I really enjoy my daughters company and have had a room for her since I got married and settled down.

It's a long story I forget some of as time marches on.  Too bad that even though I am a writer, I didn't keep a diary.  Too bad too that I didn't employ continuously an accountant.  Oh well.  I'll be dead soon enough.

How about Mexico!  I look at it as a great place to get dental care at affordable prices.  Dental care is my main reason for wanting to visit Mexico, though I do like to smoke pot.  If pot is so addictive how come it has no market share greater than alcohol, and tobacco?

Anyway fair fees are required for Transcendian success.  And what's up with the school systems in Florida?  Quality of life is dependent on good company, and living with a bunch of dumbass ignorant people is a downer.  You do really need to spend money on education just so you have more interesting people around to talk to.

Fees of Transcendia ought to be spent first on education for all known realities necessary for survival.  This will insure the effective defense of the nation.

Economics is complicated.  I don't know why this is so really, drugs but it is.

Essentially the US, Canada, and Mexico are married.  What exactly do they have in common on their roads?   

The Life of the Mind, ampoule as a classical value redeeming some thingy collection of things, and wealth, has been what I have had.  Lionel Douglas Vice President, and President of Rochdale College said I was a barometer, and he had pretty good judgement.  I wish he'd not been killed in a motorcycle accident.  You can't replace people.

The Presidential administration of Grant illustrated how much success does depend on certain friends.  It is postulated that Grant's presidential work would have been superior if those who had been with him through the war, had not died.  I have long missed my father too.

I want to know why I live where I live more fully sometimes, and not have regrets.  Now that I can hardly walk any distance, and it is a victory to stand up all of a working day, I love where I am since it is not all that cold.  I have trouble getting my socks on, and gloves are a real problem since when working in the cold I've typically had to put them on and take them off often.  I have another problem in that most all my joints hurt and are now weak so that if I use the cane, its not like my arm sockets are all that much better than my legs.

Still if I drink some beer sitting down at the keyboard, my fingers till work, and there are sometimes I don't hurt so much.  I remember feeling good about myself and dancing with a boom box.  There have been things I did caused by what I knew and felt and from whence I came that make me as irreplacible as my lost friends.

Over all goal has been to prevent Apocalyptic Riot, and See people from outerspace.

– I am a product of my times.  Atom Bombs, and Outerspace, and Vietnam were what we decided things for ourselves when I was coming up.  Daddy had been in the war and it fucked him up some.  He had wanted to be a Priest, but combat and killing set him back from that.  Eventually he did become ordained as an Episcopal Priest.  Still mostly his successes are secrets between himself and the actors he directed for Community Theater.  I think he loved the Theater.

He wanted me to be a writer, and not a pilot.

If I was going to be a writer I wanted to write a book for the Bible.  I can fly a plane.

At anyrate to be a full fledged Transcendian who had done some things that teach something fun to know, those who build and launch message rockets are more Transcendian than those who haven't.  Those who throw the I Ching for a reading, and also read the New Testament reading for the day, are more Transcendian, than those that haven't.

Far as the vision, if you want one of your own, I suggest living a period of boredom and bliss within a series of working days in a long row.

I had that experience and it produced a vision that has produced all that I am as an embodied idea as enough.  

There are so many places to write.

Christmas comes only once a year, tadalafil but everyday is trick or treat.

There may be some great reason Halloween ought to be a more respected holiday.  Last time I paid any dress up homage to Halloween was in Rochester New York.  I wore an expensive three piece suit I had bought stupidly to go to a wedding in.  I believe I committed some faux pax's at this wedding, medstore but nothing much to do about some things.  Apparently there is something bad associated with giving knives as wedding presents.

Halloween is a good time to travel by plane, thumb since prices don't go up and there is a party wherever you go.  I once flew standby from Rochester New York to Greensboro NC to go to a Halloween party when working for Piedmont?, or when I could fly on my wife's pass for USAir.  That's how I found out about Halloween as a good time to travel, if you can't afford Thanksgiving and Christmas travel expenses.

There is some videotape I shot for Transcendian Television in my archives of tape, and more tape.  Edits exist on tape.  There is a DVD run off, one or maybe two.  Everything breaks.

I am afraid that cyberwar is going on, and some enemies will erase, kill off the cloud, noosphere of work that is in no other place.

Horror movies are big now.

It is a good time to go on a trip., or maybe stay home and defend the house?

My engineer friends and I got pretty acquainted with why Haiti was so fucked up.  I looked at a UNWire Post that said not enough money pledged had been actually given to the Haitians.  You could give money day in and day out to the Haitians and nothing would change since it really isn't about money.

The problem with Haiti is racism and law.  They have long been racist among themselves in the "Light, anabolics Bright, pharm or Near White", health way that diminished US racial solidarity.  Regardless of cultural and educational hobbles, it is property rights, deeds and law that are more significant as impediments to Haiti reconstruction, than lack of donations.

I've postulated that you might as well just buy the entire nation, and sell it back to them with proper deeds if you really wanted to help the place out.  Of course I've also recommended they be given visas to go work in New Orleans, where culture and language barriers are less.

There are too many people on that part of the island.  It's similarities to Ireland's island history do lead to certain real lessons.

My engineering friends of CR4 did produce a White Paper for USAID on this.  We also let the Red Cross know what the issues were when we were for using Shipping Containers for housing there in Haiti, and discovered that property law and deeds and all would push a continuing spiral of the status quo that meant "tents", in the streets.

Teaming Bush and Clinton there to run the place for the UN sure has worked out as you might have expected.  You might see more vacationers in Irag than you see going to Haiti for a good time.