I believed in cheap cameras.  I believed in Super 8, here but it was a waste of time and money.  God I hate all the technology changes.  If I was in a teaching position right now, for film production I would rent a digital Panavision for the class to learn how to run.

My first camera was a Brownie with a flash.  I was 12 or thirteen and had never heard of Weegee, but wanted to be him all the same.

I had a Canon SV 518?  I think that was it.  Mostly I shot most with that.  Still I'd use most anything.  Had a wind up combat 16mm Keystone, and a bad Bolex.  Used the Bolex EL.  Last shot with an AC through an Arri II or III.  Use the Olympus now.  Want a Digital Camera that doesn't require me so much retraining and geek head work.

I traded my Crown Graphic for a Minox 35 when I was moving to FLL.  Back then I did a lot.  I have to admit Miami Vice was closer to reality than you might imagine.  I remember setting up my 16 mm projector on the tarmac and showing films departing passengers in airliner jets would get glimpses of on the side of the hangar.

Then there was my newsletter, Transcend O Ray, which was name of the vision that was Aleph like, and became the nation of Transcendia.

Now I live in town.  I'm misunderstood and hated and think I'll go eat worms.

Checking my email after the posts of the past few days I got an ad from Disney to buy some DVDs et al.  Ads from Google adsense have changed.  I still haven't gotten a check.  Fact is we in Transcendia have never seen any money come through the Donate button.

I got some coupons from Cafepress for some stuff I ended up buying.  The black hat and the shoulder bag were good buys, medicine as were the sweat shirts.  Cotton for the Tee shirts was thin.  Thought I had set it so I would get a check in the mail, patient but ain't got one.

I did get kicked off CR4 where I spent an inordinate amount of time.  Truly I had a lot of fun there, sales and recommend it and Globalspec, but our relationship was co-dependent.  I could rejoin as another person with another email address, but I feel as really some sort of oddly important individual with a strong history, fuck that.

I offered them a link for some political science, and was rebuffed.  Gottah admit though that I liked arguing about energy and engineering issues where you have to know more than claptrap.  I'm of a nuts and bolts idea that the Bureaucrat ought to aspire to Technocrat status.   I ought to copyright the Telephone Bank, or Transcendian Telephone Bank name right now.  Think I will.

Sell a phone that comes with not only minutes, but an insurance policy you can borrow against.

Sell an exchange rate slide wheel for seller and buyer with an underwriter, and all will be understandable, instead of gobblygook.

Meantime back at the ranch, I may well never need another shirt.  Actually this Christmas I got 11 shirts and sweaters.  Mostly I did get my uniform shirts, which are the white oxford button downs from LL Bean.  I have some pants.  I don't change pants everyday, but I do change shirts everyday.

Progress through shirts, and fun.  

I looked at a little television yesterday.  Some Disney show was going on on ABC in the Dish equipped home I was in.  Transcendia would like to take over at least the adult part of Disney.  Some guy singing did a terrific job interpreting some Christmas song.  The performance was dependent on his particular voice personality and being.  I imagine Disney can afford to hire some of the best in the world.

I didn't much like myself the set, impotent and all that sun, drugs and the fake world.  I went on honeymoon with my first wife to Disney World, impotent and have some interesting audio tapes, ear movie documentary of that trip.  I loved the hotel we stayed in.  They had some fine interesting art around.  My daughter was born 9 months later.

Life is interesting.  Disney World was later reported as a number one honeymoon location.  One of the few laughs over the past 24 years I've shared with the ex-wife.  Disney World wasn't as bad as I thought it might be.  I loved the hotel.

Rides were sort of lame.

I don't think Disney as a company is very repentant about what they do.  I liked them better when I was a kid.  I forgive them for being so bland and sunny.  Disney Land, and Disney concepts truly are inspirational far as Transcendian foundational theories.  I have said that if the Vatican can have a seat at the UN, Disney ought to as well.  I'm not really joking.  I'd likely buy Haiti if I was running Disney.  Disney is not an NGO.  Haiti aint much of a country.  Call the Haiti UN offices and they tell you to call the Red Cross, or somebody else, and why don't you speak French!

When Walt bought up the land for Disney World, he had brokers buy it up without revealing it was being bought by Disney.  Kept the prices paid lower.  Just cause you're an artist, doesn't mean you ought not be shrewd.  Everybody wants what you make for free.  And you want to give it away for free too.

One must resist the desire to give everything away for free.  People don't appreciate art they haven't paid for.  A couple of my paintings, sold last month.  I love it that somebody will take care of the work better than I can.  Three of my big heavy paintings are on the back deck.  They are suffering.  My last three smaller paintings disturbed my wife.

Now that I've been married for almost ten years, I think I've got the hang of it..  We got excellent counseling prior to the marriage, and I say that the time for counseling is definitely before you get married, and not after the event.  People are flawed.

People want to do things their own way.  I had some unrepentant friends who had a store on Avenue A called Live Shop Die.  Was Bob and Liz and Trixie, and they sold old Barbie Dolls, posters and strange stuff.  There was a working Photo Booth in the store that I loved to put quarters in.  We had fun being in the box making pictures with the aid of the robot.

I'd just go in the store and drink beer there sometimes with them.  They wanted me to bring beer.  They were unrepentant.  They were a menage a trois.  Trixie once complained that Liz wasn't fucking Bob enough leaving it to her too much.  I had a memorable bar crawl with Liz that was one of those things you remember as not quite right, but I'm not going to say I really did anything worth real regret.  Back in that era the East Village wasn't as slick as it is now, according to reports.

Don't know if my girlfriend at the time really forgave me finding us in the morning on the couch.  She gave Liz a glass of water.  I remember showing Liz something.  There is a streak of innocence that combines with the unruly secrets of living.  

…

There probably are some academic courses that essentially teach criminal behaviors.  The only criminals I spent much time working around, ampoule if not sortah, buy for, were drug dealers and smugglers.  It is such a big business that there are probably few of us haven't some way or another been touched by it all for profit or loss.

They say that the prisons teach people how to be criminals, but if they were such good criminals to learn from they wouldn't be in prison, now would they?

Little things I know are like your professional has more than one name and identity.  In the case of the drug dealers I knew they stored under one name, sold out of another under another name, and lived their private lives under another name.  Certainly there are risks to criminal behavior more than non criminal behavior due to some lack of protection under the law for your illegal business.  Paying for protection from both the police, and other criminals means you do need high profits.  Pros have accountants and attorneys either way.

(I like it that I learned finances and economics were two different things.)

Eric Schlosser does a good job of it in his book Reefer Madness, leastways up to a point.  It is profound that legitimate businesses have adopted successfully criminal operating procedures.  It is the smugglers we are most threatened by, for their job is to smuggle what will make a profit, and weapons smuggling implies Weapons of Mass destruction will be smuggled.  We would be safer if drugs and weapons were separated as profitable for the smuggler.  I fear I'm beating a dead horse pushing for legalization of drugs, but can promise you there are very practical reasons for it to be in the interest of countering the priority threat that we will be nuked cause some drug smuggler picks up some suitcase bomb as an aside.

I've said this sort of stuff so often I'm about bored with it, though I ought not be considering all the gruesome deaths along the US Mexican border.  Glad I live where I live.  We get a lot of visitors from NYC and I already live here after living up and down the East Coast and out Chicago way.  So I'd probably want to move here from NYC about now if I'd stayed there from when I was connected there better.

Every funny Xmas tale, audio clip and that sort of thing has been what I have wanted more than anything in the mental landscape this year.  Good jokes are important as anger management tools.  I heard once a crew leaving told the BA to keep me on the job for the incoming crew, cause I was funny.  Yah gottah hang around with me to get the funny.  I'm pretty sure I'm funnier live and in person.

I don't know anymore what I was really raised to be.  Sure enough artist politician can be done, and I do fit that profile same as when I fit the Shed Man profile.  Saving grace has always been the good joke.  A joke is the right answer to the wrong question, or the wrong question to the right answer.  Leastways that's what I came up with after thinking about it a lot.  

I wonder how bad things really are.  In the neighborhoods round here I don't see many people.  Driving around is expensive. I don't drive much at all anymore.  I think it is recommended now one buy an electric car that won't go far anyway.  Most of the time I want to stay home and guard the house.  Every time I leave for work I wonder if when I return it will have not been broken into.

I know that around the world the Drug War makes a difference.  Over and over I've said so.  Said over and over separating drug smugglers from weapons smugglers would make us all safer.

Damn I wish I had some more energy.  I'm tired.

Holiday seasons of the past creep into my memories.  I see in my minds eye a black and white photo of me in innocence on a tricycle in front of a Christmas Tree.  I have no other memory.

Sure enough I have memories of something like buttoning a shirt, herbal or being stuck between where I left, health and where I was headed.

Beverly gave me a potato before I left on the highway with my thumb out and 15 dollars.  Years ago I slept in ditches.

More have had to live as I have than those with degrees.  I just thought things would work out if I kept working.

Now it is still murky since it is a crime all around to do anything at all, and think anything at all.

Hope is a failure in itself.  I become a stranger to myself.  I look forward to a job as a professor teaching hopeless children how to become successful criminals. 

It is only in my local life that I have any feelings of certainty about what is going on.  Still the world is filtering through.  A sort of caught in the Zoo feeling overtakes me now.  What I've got, prostate and what they want are so far disconnected from any reality of what I've got I am being further ground down.  If I was young again I'd be smart to go into crime as a first career. The strippers and whores may well have the right idea.  Course they often seem to be dual personalities as to make you wonder what hope of sanity there really is at all for anyone.  I feel good that as one of my first official acts, buy I declared April Fools Day, no rx the Transcendian Holiday.  Face it and embrace it that you are, have been, or will be if you are lucky, foolish.

Got involved in a discussion about existentialism which I felt hip to read when I was in High School, and was caused to remember things I liked about it, and things I didn't. The Transcendian Philosophy is still forming, though partly well codified enough to inspire progress in the right direction.  A direction right enough is all I am about, or expect as limited Utopia.  Look here at this little airport!

They liked me in Tel Aviv!  This is true.  It was at the height of  the Transcendian Message Rocket program that I got more international press.  Course actually it has been long that Transcendia has had consistent presence same as any small weak poor country that rents.  I study political science from both psychological and sociological basis ascribed to experiments done both ethically and unethically as what History is.  Somewhere out of the Strand is my copy of the Timelines of History wherein I wrote down when I was invented.  I hardly know arithmetic having to take long to ever get fractions to center.  I built a table yesterday that perfectly illustrates how I do things and end up always off center.  It has a lot to do with the materials I have to work with.

– They are imperfect.

Most of my best work is a bitch to frame.  This table I made yesterday was made from finally a curved cut piece of 3/4 inch birch plywood.  I'd started out wanting to make a little rectangular table to throw together with screws and little sawing, but the top I had in mind was warped.  For the leg cutting I had to mess with the straight fence on my cheap Delta chop saw and hurt my hand a couple of curse word worthy times trying to do precision mechanics with the wrong tools.  Course next time I'll make everything act right.  All the wood I used came out of the cabinet shop dumpster.  Sometimes too often the dumpster smells like Toulene, chemicals, not good for your kidneys.

The table I made yesterday would be fairly easy to break.  It might be a work of art.  To make anything work, you have to believe in it.  While I am a bit of a sceptic, I'm glad I went to church as often as I did.  A good sermon is a fun thing.  I can't well call my religion a separate theology but can call it a spiritual practice.  Working backwards I need to divorce it from dependence on books, and give it an oral tradition.  I volunteer myself to be interviewed…

What questions do I have for myself you might want to ask me?

First I went to The Family Doctor to find out what the lump behind my right knee was.  It was a Bakers Cyst which is a fluid leak for which little is normally to be done.  I got prescriptions for some of my ongoing problems, prostate and went to Wal Mart to fill them as recommended due to reduced costs.

Then my left leg really went to hell.  It swelled up, abortion and hurt real bad.  I waited till I had some money to go back.  When I went back thinking I might well have Fleabiteus, canada order they determined I might die and sent me to the Hospital for an ultrasound test to see if how close to dying I might be.

Turned out I had Cellulitis from Fleabitus, and needed antibiotics.

One drug I was already taking was recommended for both problems.

Did I mention the arthritis?

Anyway Family Doctor wouldn't authorize a refill of the arthritis medicine cause I came in without an appointment.

So the lesson turns to be if you don't see a Doc in the Box without an appointment you have problems getting prescriptions renewed.

Got a note from WL Literary Agency saying that they had made contacts in China.  Chollywood wants Screen Plays acceptable to the censored buyers intent on creating an internal market for Chinese films.  I did work on some Hong Kong Kung Fu movie titled We'll Take Manhattan that I would like to see.

The Agency did not sell my Jet Beach screen play, purchase and I spent with them at least 500 bucks for reading fees and what not.  I'd fired an agent for crack smoking.  The online agency was best I could get from where I was.  They want some more money for expenses.

I'm not giving them anymore money.

There is an idea for a movie in my mind archives that could transcend the propaganda Chinese producers of films have.

That idea for which I have written little is the story of the ignorant neophyte who becomes pet boy to the airport builders in an African jungle.  He goes on to become a spaceship pilot.  It is an inspiring story of success by happenstance and character and personality.

Machines will be very much characters in the movie.  The Band boy shall in the opening scene see the Bulldozer as if it was a living monster pushing the jungle into the shape of an airport.   From then on his life is transformed from ignorant savage to tech savvy pilot of any flying machine.

Stranger things have happened.

My failure as the chief political Founder and figure is that I have not given enough speeches.  So I have made a deal to pay for the filming of a speech to be posted to Youtube, ask at least, look with a box of art.  At this stage it is the equivalent of printing money that has intrinsic value similar to gold.  It has been more than once people have said I'll be appreciated after I am dead to the point faking my death was attractive as a marketing ploy.  Course I feel death coming soon enough so as not wanting to tempt fate, and mess around with it.  If only the doctors would give me a three week supply of valium.  I think they are afraid I'll become addicted to valium.

Oh to be good in all ones personal habits!  Bout all I can do is try and protect my integrity, and maintain or improve my Boy Scout character.  I one time told my daughter that she had a right to her secrets.  I think I went on to say that you cannot be who you really want to be without keeping a few things to yourself.

While this reality is true, and good advice it threatens cash in a world of constant universal war.  Paper money is such a common and used work of conceptual art not backed up by gold, that I think we take it for granted.  Due to the nature of a nation of airports for which security and defense must be greater than at any other ports, cash must be limited.  Passports must also be limited.

As it is not a born into nation, to be joined, for the core of initial citizens, vetting shall be required, and the available passport on the Transcendia wiki, shall not really be good without my signature, or that of Garth Hoyman, or my wife.  In other words some snail mail shall be required.

All righty then, I have just jumped into it, the issues I'm worried about, starting with money.  In aviation and movie making the joke is the same:  What does it take to make an airplane fly?   – The answer is money.   The answer to what's it take to make a movie, is also money.

Money for what?  Well, in general, my goal is to do as much good as Hitler did bad.  My specific way of working to maybe do that is to create a nation of airports and spaceports.  I am way cut back on my love of outerspace as a evacuation destination and am more for at this time near earth operations.  We do need a planet defense system.  Asteroid mining may not be as outlandish as it sounds, and if it enhances our, and I mean "our" defense capabilities to do such things, then I am for it.  People do more things for money, than about most anything else.  Anyway it sure seems that way.

The most dangerous people do all they do for some ideology or maybe more bad things for theology, though it would appear mixing the two as did Hitler, is a pretty powerful combination.  We can see ideologies and theology fearfully in conflict now in this time of general war on every block.  Don't think for a minute that the imprisonments theft and violence on every block and in every neighborhood is better because it is a Drug War, than a war over oil and ideology, and theology in Iraq, or Afghanistan.

For the US they say they are conducting two wars, when really it is three.  Don't face it!

Come on, Face it!  A nation cannot afford three front wars.

I really want to fund an impartial panel of doctors to find out the bottom line as far as how long from joint to joystick they would certify as safe for pilots.  In my judgement if it is to be legal, we need to know this sort of thing to help end the drug war.

The Drug War really ought to be an easy one to end when you consider the past few presidents of the United States, and their records, or confessions, or lies.  Many an inmate can say Obama, Clinton and Bush got away with it.  I'll never be president cause I got caught.

I got caught once with a little pot and a 38 Brazilian made revolver.   Yeah, I had the revolver in the glove compartment.  When the blue lights went off I didn't feel comfortable reaching for my gun.  Was when I was opening the glove compartment for some papers I told the cop there was a gun in there.  Leaving a gun around in plain sight in a car is not a great idea in my opinion.  However the law in NC is that you are supposed to.   It is the opposite in SC.

I'm not going to go on and on about guns.[p]

However I must go on and on about what a good thing it would be if we had an international nation of confederated airports.

I'm willing to make a fool of myself to raise the money to do such a thing.

It will be a big and expensive thing to do.

Help, I need Help! 

The economy of Transcendia will be dependent on fees, allergist starting with landing fees for the simple fact that a transient may never come back.

It was a shock to me that led to a few hours in jail that registration of your car, doctor or motorcycle costs like 450 dollars in Fort Lauderdale.  I forget exactly how things went down now after 15 years?  Think I sold the truck and only rode the motorcycle and crossed some railroad tracks before the thingy went up, which is legal for cops after the train passes, but illegal for the regular rider.

Had to have my boss bail me out before I was to be put in County for at least overnight.  Overall not fun at all.  It is good to have employers that will come to get you out of jail.  It is a tough man that has no fear of jail for ideological reasons.  Genet is supposedly an existentialist writer.  It is interesting that he was pardoned by the French government.  I have legal issues in New York State I need to put to rest, and for which I need rescue.

I am a strong supporter of Andre` Lewin's Points for Reinvention of the UN.  Who knows, maybe France will bail me out.  My US passport is expired, but I can't get it renewed until this 9 grand ex wife problem is paid off.  I sort of like the UK law about how if a guy marries a woman with children, the first husband is released from payments to the wife or children.   I really enjoy my daughters company and have had a room for her since I got married and settled down.

It's a long story I forget some of as time marches on.  Too bad that even though I am a writer, I didn't keep a diary.  Too bad too that I didn't employ continuously an accountant.  Oh well.  I'll be dead soon enough.

How about Mexico!  I look at it as a great place to get dental care at affordable prices.  Dental care is my main reason for wanting to visit Mexico, though I do like to smoke pot.  If pot is so addictive how come it has no market share greater than alcohol, and tobacco?

Anyway fair fees are required for Transcendian success.  And what's up with the school systems in Florida?  Quality of life is dependent on good company, and living with a bunch of dumbass ignorant people is a downer.  You do really need to spend money on education just so you have more interesting people around to talk to.

Fees of Transcendia ought to be spent first on education for all known realities necessary for survival.  This will insure the effective defense of the nation.